PLEASE OTHERS, IN TIMES OF CRISIS, DO NOT LET YOUR LOVE, RESPECT, MORALS, DIGNITY, AND COMMON COURTESY GO TO THE WAYSIDE <3 AND WITH THAT, MY THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Growing up in the Metro Area
(Maryland, D.C., and Virginia), I very much grew up as a “city girl.” I was exposed to many different things, some
good and some bad, by being raised in such a populated area that had lots of
different subcultures. Moving to West
Virginia about four years ago was very much a culture shock for me, and it definitely
took some getting used to. Being born in
West Virginia, you would have thought that I would be a little bit more “in
tune” with the way that things work in small towns; however, I had no idea just
how different it would be. Now, I feel
very blessed to say that I have the best of both worlds running through my
veins. I can put on a designer dress and
stilettos, attend an art gathering, jazz/cigar bar, and enjoy a night full of
dancing and socializing in the “big city,” or I can throw my hair back in a
ponytail, put on my worn in converse, and hit the hills on a dirt bike, coming
back with mud dripping off my eyelashes!
Life, in both areas, are almost
polar opposites, it is almost like you are living on complete opposite ends of
the earth. Life in the big city is very
fast paced, people are always “go, go, go!” and do not take the time to enjoy
each moment or take the time to stop and help a person in need. Traffic is horrendous, and you could possibly
wait an hour to get into traffic from a side street because people will line up
so tight that there is no way they are letting you in the line of traffic or
you are able to pull into it yourself.
It is almost as if “each man for his own.” People, in my opinion, seem more accustomed
to worrying about their selves, instead of how their actions may affect someone
else. I think this comes from the
culture that many cities have created because they are reacting to others actions
instead of following their heart, intuition, or what they feel is “right.” Also, many individuals possibly hear what is
one the news, which compared to our small town in W.V., is filled with horrific
incidences and crime which could possibly keep people wanting to mind their own
business and not become involved in the things happening around them, out of
fear that something bad could come of it.
Now, although my perception is mainly negative about the people who live
in cities, this is just a generalization because I know many fine people who
are kind, generous, trustworthy, compassionate, and caring that live in the
city, but in ratio, the number of rude people far outweigh these kind
individuals, in my opinion. Now, living
in the city definitely has its benefits also such as exposure to different
cultures, races, ethnicities, experiences, and FOOD (haha def. one of my
favorites). There is never a dull moment
in a city with choices that range from zoos, aquariums, NFL football games,
Major league baseball, NHL hockey games, tons of musical experiences and
concerts, museums, circuses, shopping and nightlife, variety of restaurants,
and tons of fun filled activities available for children of all ages, including
us J Being exposed to all the different races,
cultures, and ethnicities is something that I feel most grateful for living and
growing up in the city. My friends were
people from all types of cultures, religions, social statuses, backgrounds, and
countries. This helped me to recognize
the beauty in all different types of individuals and the realization about how
much we can learn from one another. Most
importantly, this is where I learned that no matter what a person looks like,
where they are from, what religion they practice, how educated they are, what
there financial bracket is, etc. ……….. the only thing that matters, when it
comes down to liking and caring about someone, is the size of their heart and
their ability to be humble in realizing no one of us is any better than the
rest.
Now let’s take a look at life in the
country. When I was younger, say 8 and
under, my idea of fun did not revolve around playing Nintendo, watching TV,
IPODS, or any other electronic that adults in the city like to shove in their child’s
face out of fear of letting them outdoors to be exposed to possible
kidnappings, child molestation, or peer pressures. Our ideas of fun very much revolved around
“exploring,” and “inventions.” By inventions,
I mean that we invented our own fun which, in my opinion, is a huge thing when
raising kids. I mean yeah, we could have
children who are educated and learn how to do something well, or we could
encourage creativity and have a child who invents the “next biggest thing” or
idea! We would explore caves, fossils,
different types of minerals, rocks, bugs, or animals as well as use free and
easily obtainable materials and sources to create inventions, make
contraptions, build tree houses or forts, or to create new games to play. It was never a dull moment. From the time the sun rose, to the time it
settled behind the trees, we were out roaming the mountainsides, fields,
rivers, and forests. From catching
lightning bugs, and swinging from vines, to blowing the fuzzies off of dandelions (to
make a wish, and truly believing they would come true), our sense of fun never
revolved around the need for money, expensive toys, or anything outside of our
own imagination…..talk about fabulous!
Now, although this is all wonderful, fast forward to life as a young
adult. People tend to get pregnant and
married at a much younger age here in the country. They miss out on so many great opportunities
and experiences that the world, outside of the countryside, has to offer. Many people seem (this is a generalization)
to be less accepting to people of other races, ethnicities, and cultures, and
are very closed minded when it comes to anything outside of the way that they
were conditioned by their parents. There
is very little diversity in the country, and not a whole lot of new experiences
and opportunity to gain knowledge as to all the many different types of jobs,
opportunities, colleges, people, music, or geographical landscapes that this
gigantic world has to offer. I think if
more children, in the country, were raised with true awareness of the world
around them, many more would hopefully choose to not get pregnant or married at
17, and instead go to college and open up the many different doors and paths to
explore the world that surrounds them.
Now although I am looking at this
“lack of exposure to the world” in a bad way, it can also be a good thing. First of all, the drugs and exposure to crime
is less, resulting in a lesser chance of a child becoming involved in gangs,
drug dealing or usage, or the “wrong crowd.”
This is not because the country does not have these things, but more so
because the ratio of people are far less in the country, which makes them less
able to get “lost in the crowd,” or become just another person, student, or
child without a name, a personality, a background, or a family, which many
times can happens in a bigger city.
Also, another good thing about the lack of exposure too many things
would be the fact that it seems to be a major cause for families and
communities being “tighter” and more supportive of one another. In the city where it is “go, go, go,”
families rarely have the time to do the most important things in life, the
things that will make a strong family, a good moral, ethical, and value system
for their children and families such as family dinners, sitting around playing
board games, swinging on the front porch swing, just talking about what is
going on in their lives. In the city, it
is as if every minute of every day is accounted for and activities are “penciled
in,” which can cause people to be so concerned with making it to the next
activity, keeping on time goal, keeping up with the neighbors, competing with
others, or becoming successful in their lives and jobs, that they lose sight of
all the beautiful macro seconds of everyday, the events and experiences that
truly matter, CONNECTING WITH OTHERS! In
the country, where there is less to do, people take the time to stop and talk
to their neighbors, to help someone that is broke down on the side of the road,
help an elder cross the street, hold the door open for someone, lend a hand,
and create a sense of belonging and community.
In my opinion, this is what life is all about, and is the main cause of
inner peace, contentment, and joy that no amount of money, social status,
label, title, or materialistic thing could ever come close to in terms of
worth!
And of course there are the issues
of landscaping differences between the city and the country. In the city, things appear to be “dirtier,” whereas
things in the country are more natural resulting in a perception of
cleanliness. Cities are, many times,
filled with tall building, congested areas, many streets, and tons of litter
which is understandable considering the amount of people who are squeezed into
the tight little areas. In the country,
the view is spectacular, the lush green rolling fields and hills, the wild
flowers that grow in the most random areas, the sunsets behind the mountains,
the mist that rises above the trees in the morning, the way the moon seems a
thousand times bigger in the country, or the way the sky is so clear that it is
as if you can reach out and grab the stars.
These are the things that I love most about living in the country, the
sense of belonging and being at one with nature, and its elements. There is certain peacefulness and tranquility
that comes from this that could never be found in the city!
One thing I miss most about where I
grew up in the city is the open waters.
I very much grew up as a water baby, it is my ultimate peace and there
is nothing in this world that I love more than the ocean. Growing up within blocks of the Chesapeake
Bay allowed me to connect with the world in ways I would never be able to
explain, in fact, it was the only way I was able to feel at one with one of my
creators, Gaia (Mother Nature). When
life was becoming tough, or I was becoming overwhelmed with things going on in
my life, I could go down to the bay and stare out over the water, possibly swim
and become one with the waves, or just meditate with the infinite waters as my
focal point, either way; it was how I was able to keep grounded. This is the one thing I miss most about
living in WV, there is no water here, not the waters I am used to anyways..More
like mud holes…yuck, so when I go to Maryland to visit, the highlight of my
trips is the time I get to spend on the bay, swimming with my nephew and niece,
Garrett and Julia. In fact, for years, every
time I have gone home to visit them, we spend much of our time at Cape Beach (cape st. claire),
which is a local community beach that sits on the Chesapeake Bay. The beach is close to my sister’s home and
one in which she is very much a member of their community. I have never had any problems when I would go
to this beach and spent many hours just playing in the sand, swimming out to
the bowies with my nephew, or doing handstands in the water with my niece,
either way, it was a time for me to let all the cares and problems in life sort
of melt away and just be surrounded with that which I love most, family and the
open water.
This past weekend, when I happened
to be in Maryland for a few days for an unexpected trip, I attempted to take my
nephew and niece to this local beach to enjoy an afternoon of fun and pleasure,
as we usually do on our excursions; however, I was met by incredibly rude,
selfish/greedy, hateful, and mean people.
The people who live near the little community beach, (a man with a bald
head) came out of his house and told me that I could not park on the side
street. I apologized, thanked him and my
nephew, niece, and I began to get into my car and move it. He came to the end of his driveway and said
to me, “you shouldn’t even be here; I bet you’re not a member of the
community.” My reply to him was, “no
sir, I am babysitting these children who are,” and he said “yeah right, that’s
what they all say, and then they come and leave their beer cans and cigarette
butts.” My reply to him, “sir, I do not
smoke, I do not drink, I do not do drugs, and I use Jesus as my role model, we
are just trying to enjoy some fun on the water.” He came to the end of his driveway and got
very loud and irate and said, “You’re all perfect, we are all perfect, get
real.” I knew, at that moment, to just
get in my car before I said something I may regret. I couldn’t believe it, I had been coming to
this community beach for years, I was with two young kids, I am very respectful
and polite, and I just wanted to enjoy the bay, which I terribly missed. I got into my car, and I burst out in tears..I
just couldn’t understand how people could be so mean, greedy, and unwelcoming;
this is something I am not used to at all.
You see, in WV 99% of people would welcome you with open arms, and give
you the shirt off their backs, and never ever in a million years would they
deny you something that they knew would make you so incredibly happy yet not
really affect them in any way. WOW, I
thought, this just confirms my feelings of “city folks” being rude, selfish,
and only out for them. Two days, in a
row, I tried to go to this beach and was met, both times, by two different
individuals who told me I did not belong there.
What gets me even more is my sister helps out with all of their local
community events in their community, participates in the parades, helps out
with the “strawberry festival” that is held every year at the beach, and her
children go to school and play various sports in that area, so they are VERY
MUCH A MEMBER OF THAT COMMUNITY.
One thing I am very proud of is my
ability to hold it in, and not act on my emotions, no one will change me, and I
will continue to meet rudeness, hate, or any other “devilish” ways with
love. I will not allow myself to mirror
their ways, nor will I allow myself to react to their behaviors. I take pride in knowing that I am true to no
one but myself and the fact that I will never let anything anyone says or does
to me change the way I act…which is out of love. I am not confident with the person I am, nor do
I have anything to prove to anyone about who I am or what I stand for. I know myself better than anyone else who may
claim to, and I can tell you. I am darn proud of the person I am, my actions
and choices, and more so, my ability to always act out of LOVE!
This blog is meant to be somewhat of
a shout out to the people of WV. You
were leery of accepting me into your community at first, but you have always
shown me the benefit of the doubt! The
sense of belonging and community that I feel here is much like that of a large
family. People here are supportive, caring,
kind, and always looking for ways to serve and help others. I hope you all realize what a wonderful gift
you guys offer to the world! Here where
people may not have the nicest homes or cars, the best paying jobs, or a
college degree…but they have much much more…way more than all you city folk
will ever have, the ability to share, help, give back, and you support and
encourage one another, these are the qualities that you are sending to your
youth, no matter what type of education or jobs they have, they will be raised
with these qualities which mean far, far more than anything, especially in this
critical time for our nation and economy.
Those city folk who have nice new beamers, and big homes, but are
selfish and greedy, you know what, when things collapse, it is going to be us
that stand strong because we are UNITED and cherish and love one another just
as much as we do our own families.
I always say that there is nothing
we can’t do….US, a million lower status, lower financial bracket, but huge hearted
people with good intentions, will rise far above those few individuals in the
world that own 80% of it, because when it comes down to it, money cannot buy
true support, love, belonging, and sincere, honest, and trustworthy
individuals. I’m sorry to be the one to
break it to you, but just because people have money, it does not mean that you
can get all that you want…yeah, you may be able to buy those supporters,
friends, legal team, campaigns, real estate, etc. but when it comes to it, you
really can’t buy people, and guess what, if you can, then you are buying people
with absolutely no moral, ethical, or value guidelines….lol not quite the type
of people id ever want on my
side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And that is for my fellow lovers,
the ones that believe in hard work, supporting one another, second chances,
compassion, reaching out, and sharing what we do have in order to make a better
world. It’s the people who try, whether
it be through hard work, encouraging/inspiring goodness in others, helping
others to have their needs or overcome challenges, or just a kind word or
gesture….Please, please, please do not let anyone ever change that in you
because the world terribly needs people like you will stand strong in the face
of adversary, challenges, and oppositions!
God bless <3
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